Bachelorette Roundup: Andi + Josh Forever, Poor Little Nick

Andi Dorfman, Esq., you did it. You not only captivated my attention for your entire The Bachelorette season, exceeding all my expectations for sparkly gowns, spouting tears, beachside make-outs, heated man-fights and exotic world travels—but you provided me with a fairy-tale ending with your handsome (former-pro-baseball-playing) prince, in a proposal that made me cry. You and Josh are absolutely, completely adorable and clearly head-over-roses in love. I wish you both the absolute best for the rest of your lives. The sincerity with which I say that is both creepy and entirely telling of my forever commitment to this remarkable show. I BELIEVE you will last a lifetime and make beautiful olive-skinned babies with great hair, massive dimples and a perfect unearthly mixture of beauty, brains and athleticism!!!

Every season Chris Harrison promises groundbreaking drama, emotion and shock, but this finale was truly one of my faves. Maybe because of the outright gorgeous factor of and outrageous chemistry between Andi + Josh; maybe because of the painful intrigue in watching runner-up Nick bargain for answers until the last second; maybe because it was just really GOOD or because my standards for GOOD TV are slowly abating after hours and hours of kids’ shows.

In any case, I feel it is worthy of a roundup highlighting a handful of observations:

Josh’s amazing proposal. I admit that for most of the season, like Andi, I had Josh unfairly pegged as a pretty-boy former-athlete who may or may not be a player and who may or may not lack depth. The finale changed my mind completely. First, I thought the “Andi Murray” baseball card was so incredibly thoughtful, endearing and telling of his commitment to her. Secondly, OMG, that proposal! I was fully crying tears of Bachelorette joy. “Andi, you are the answer to all my prayers. You are the woman of my dreams. You are the woman that I never thought existed in this world […] When I look into your eyes, I see so much beauty, so much passion, so much love […] I see the woman I want to give the world to.” Just beautiful with the words, Josh. There was also something really special about watching Andi finally reveal her love.

Nick’s shattered heart. I admit—I was never a fan of Nick. I thought it was a huge red flag that he fought constantly with the other guys. He seemed overconfident and I struggled to understand the attraction as well as his hair situation. I was majorly Team Josh and had a feeling he’d be the winner. And yet, I felt true human sorrow in seeing Nick’s heart get obliterated. His shock was evident. His departing interview and tear down his cheek were heartbreaking. He clearly fell hard for Andi. Even worse, he had to be sent home knowing the woman he loved was about to get engaged to a quite studly former pro athlete who, quite simply, won her heart. That all had to hurt very much.

Nick’s awkward battle to the death. It was bad enough to see Nick crying; then we had to see his mom crying?! I was starting to get really sad for him. But then, my sadness turned to discomfort when he started stalking her. It never goes well when a booted Bach contestant returns. Reid from Jillian’s season; Kacie B. from Ben’s; etc. His surprise arrival at The Men Tell All bordered on Fatal Attraction, but my friend Tess responded brilliantly to my sympathy:

So true, girlfriend. SO TRUE. Tess also responded brilliantly to Andi’s tough choice between Nick’s intelligence and Josh’s muscles, in this convo with her 60-year-old aunt:

L.O.L. Well spoken, sister! Sigh… Poor, poor Nick. He did come across pretty pathetic, but I also still felt sad for him. Like it or not, stuff gets REAL on this show. Real hearts, real families, real emotions running high—with little space for healthy closure and healing. I do think Andi had something strong and real with Nick; I just think she had something stronger and realer with Josh. I don’t think Andi’s a monster who was leading Nick on; I think she was a girl in a tough situation trying to navigate things to the best of her ability without intentionally hurting anyone. Unfortunately for Nicky Pants, potential heartbreak was all part of the deal.

GASP! Nick and Andi’s long-awaited confrontation. This was just horrid. Excruciating to watch. Nick was visibly shaking. Kind of stunned, not sure what to say. Isn’t that how it always is, though, after months of conversations in your head with someone? All this buildup, and when you finally see them face to face, it’s a human being, just like you, with feelings and a pulse, and your quick-witted words of venom and emotion suddenly seem childish and evaporate. Nick still dropped a big one, though. “If you weren’t in love with me, I’m just not sure why you made love with me.” Aaaaaah! Never once in the history of watching the show have I seen the contestants actually reveal what goes down in the fantasy suite. Welp, there it is. Even though I’ve always assumed it about the fantasy suites, it felt pretty gross and strange to actually hear about it (but made Nick’s total heartbreak seem more understandable). Andi seemed equally horrified that he went there. Her response to all of Nick’s angst was as classy as possible, essentially saying, “Josh was the one, dude. I’m sorry!” I really hope Nick felt closure after that painful encounter, and that he finds someone to go to the gym and make dinner with in Chicago.

Andi + Josh’s sheer cuteness. Did Andi and Josh not both look absolutely incredible?! Andi with her slightly darker hair and eyelet white dress, Josh in that suit and skinny tie?! They were both radiating and struggling to keep their hands off of each other. I love that Josh wants to get married sooner than Andi does (sounds like spring!), and I laughed at his totally inappropriate but quick-witted response to the pregnancy rumors (“I’m trying!”). I also thought it was SO beyond cute that they wore hats, wigs and glasses to disguise themselves and meet up secretly in Atlanta during their hiding period. How covert and romantic! I also loved that she called him out on his “mirror face” and that he said “we’re best friends” a few times. Two kids from Atlanta who traveled the world to find each other. They appeared cuddly, natural, and giddy. Let’s fast-forward to the ABC wedding already!!!

Josh’s little brother, Aaron Murray, is apparently a pretty big deal. Doug was very interested in this (one, very small) piece of the show. Apparently Aaron was drafted by the Kansas City Chiefs in the fifth round of the NFL. He played college football at Georgia. This is all I have to say about this; I’m grateful it piqued Doug’s interest!

Andi’s extremely pronounced frown. So. Many. Shots. This was hysterical. However, I would’ve MUCH preferred a montage of her saying, “STOP!” or “STOP IT!” I mean, seriously. How many times did she say this? Zillions. Back to the frown, though; the grumpy cat thing seemed so odd and unnecessary to me. Almost as weird and unnecessary as the live ultrasound for Ashley and J.P. on The Men Tell All. I mean, really?! *Cringe* Sometimes even the most perfect shows make mistakes (like the finale of How I Met Your Mother).

Farmer Chris as the next Bachelor?????!!! With Chris Harrison patting his shoulders and all, there seemed to be some very obvious hinting toward Farmer Chris as the next Bachelor. I don’t know what to make of this! On one hand, he’s wonderful, on the other hand, he’s a farmer. Does this mean every woman who signs up is saying she’s ready to settle down on a farm? I don’t see the usual cast of stunning models and hairdressers being too into wheat fields and sow. Not that it wouldn’t be entertaining; I would love to watch them all fight for Chris. He truly seems like a stand-up guy, absolute salt of the earth, and any girl would be lucky to ride off into the Iowa sunset on his tractor. I’ll definitely be watching.

What was Brooks doing there??!! Did anyone else notice Brooks from Desiree’s season?! He seems like such a random returning audience member to me and his hair looked extra slicked back. I mean, has anyone even thought twice about him since he awkwardly abandoned Desiree and her phenomenal abs on that tropical dock?! I’ve personally tried to forget that episode a.) because it was painful and b.) because I love Des and Chris so much. Yes of course I follow them on Instagram.

How gorgeous is Michelle Money?! It had to be said. Serious hot mom alert. For some reason, I have always loved her, even when she was the crazy-woman on Brad Womack’s most recent season. I always adore her hair + make-up and she has a great sense of humor and for some reason I just really, really, really want her to find the right guy, perhaps especially since she’s a mother. She and Graham Bunn were pretty cute when they dated, but he seemed a little small and unspicy for her goddess-like stature and sass. Maybe she’ll find love on Bach Paradise! I’m not hopeful, but a girl can dream.

Bachelor in Paradise. I’ll definitely be watching, but casually. It will probably serve as great DVR-ed background material while I clean up the house or check email. Unless Michelle Money, Marquel or one-armed Sarah seem to be finding love—in which case you can find me squarely in front of the TV weekly with my pint of soy ice cream and fervent prayers for their happiness.

Did you watch? Were you happy with Andi’s ending? Did you feel bad for Nick or think he was pathetic? What do you think of Chris as the next Bachelor?