Mom on the Move: Top 10 Lessons in Relocation

EXHALE. At last!!! At last all our stuff is moved into our new house. At last I am (mostly) unpacked. At last I have internet and cable again, after 10 long days in the dark. It’s been such a wild two months of transitioning, traveling, task-accomplishing and toddler-managing that this rare moment of stopping to soak in my new surroundings feels like a small retreat. As much I’ve loved our recent adventures, it feels SO good to be done living out of a suitcase, done signing my life away on a zillion documents and done coordinating my little heart out. We. Are. Home!

I sincerely hope we don’t move again for a very long time. But you never know. In case we do, I decided to jot down the lessons I’ve learned during this last relocation. Moms on the move, for whatever they’re worth, take heed!

1. Hiring movers: Easily among my Top 10 Best Decisions Ever. We made a BIG decision this time around: Enlisting (really good) friends’ help and renting the smallest U-Haul would no longer cut it. First, because we want to keep those really good friends, and second, because we’re grown-ups now, who had a four-bedroom home to move. We hired a company called ABC Moving Center, Inc. It was worth every penny and I’ll never go back.
2. Help with the kiddo(s): KEY. The move was incredibly smooth, but I’m not sure it would’ve been quite as dreamy without the help of my parents. They asked what they could do to help with the move and our answer was easy: Take Emerson for the day! The. Perfect. Call.
3. Moving is emotional. In loading up the last of the boxes from our Irvine home, I was surprised to feel the back of my eyes burn as I grabbed Doug’s arm and looked around our bare-empty family room. Moving means moving on, from old memories, old rhythms, old day-to-day habits and scenery. From a place where you lived some good life. It’s OK to be happy about your new home while still being sad about leaving your old one.
4. I was so CUTE registering for my wedding at age 21. Our Irvine kitchen was outrageously gargantuan, while our Costa Mesa one is just perfectly adequate, so this meant a wee bit of downsizing. This sounded impossible and annoying to me—until I actually paid attention to the contents of my boxes marked “KITCHEN.” Mostly presents from our wedding 7+ years ago. YOU GUYS. 30 ramekins. Sushi making and serving kit for 12. Three different tortilla presses. Two dozen margarita glasses. Three salad spinners. Two coffee makers (wait, that one’s not the worst idea). I want to hug my 21-year-old self for her zeal toward stocking a “practical” kitchen and hosting regular international-themed dinner parties. And for making it so easy to downsize my kitchen.
5. Less is more. One of my favorite things about moving is the overall excuse to just PURGE! We got rid of soooooo much stuff during the move. Stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff. I think each move is an ideal chance to really evaluate what you need in order to live, and to promptly ditch what you don’t. I currently feel so light, practical and well-organized. I give this about five minutes.
6. I love internet and cable. And next time, I will plan better accordingly! We waited until we were all moved in before calling our new local service providers—and then they said, “We’ll be there in a week!” On some level, I’m sure the week-and-a-half unplugged was good for my soul and my family. But my soul and my family also do well when I can watch The Mindy Project and actually reply to my emails.
7. There’s no shame in a talented handyman. Doug has so many glorious strengths, talents and passions. Home repairs simply isn’t among them. If you asked him which three things he hates most in the world, I think he’d say: 1.) Real Housewives, 2.) Clutter and 3.) Hanging curtains. And as all women know, moving into a new home is precisely when you must hang not only curtains, but pictures, mirrors, chandeliers, towel rods, etc., etc., etc. You know what? I found a wonderful handyman. He’s fast and kind and affordable and Doug and I love him to pieces. “House” is becoming “home” about 10x faster thanks to our new best friend.
8. One-story houses are a revelation! Never once in my 28 years have I lived in a one-story house. My parents’ house, the college dorm, apartment buildings, the sorority house, duplexes, a two-story townhome, but never a one-story house. I’m in LOVE! Our new home is five bedrooms and several living areas of pure flatness, mostly hard wood, which means not only can I see and hear almost everything Emerson does, but that it actually echoes! Girlfriend can’t hide from mama. We’re also loving sliding around in our socks.
9. Whether cross-county or cross-country, moving means a new way of life. I forgot this part until last week. Slowly but surely, I’m settling into life with my new grocery story, pharmacy, Target, dry cleaner, restaurants, parks, walking trails, and more. I love exploring! But it definitely takes time, energy and adjustment to re-plot your usual stops and get to know them from scratch.
10. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and living in the mess is OK. I admit: I hate that my home isn’t perfect right now. Even more, I hate that I want it so perfect and I’m working on letting that go. We still have more boxes to unpack. We still need new furniture, new window coverings and new decorations for at least 2/3 of the house. The painters are still painting and the handyman is still being handy. It won’t be “done” for a while. But as I keep telling myself, THAT’S OK. In fact, maybe it’s beautiful. Maybe, since it was built in the ‘60s, and since we can actually do whatever we want with it, it will always be our special little work in progress. Maybe it’s a good reminder that we’re all works in progress, and we just require a little patience and care for our cracks, our messes, and the flaws that make us comfy and real.

What did I miss? What have you learned in your moves, big or small?

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