Something happens to you when you’re a creative person—which, if you have a pulse, you qualify! I believe we all put our own God-breathed brand of magic into the universe. But some of us, indeed, are pre-wired with a bit of an extra artsy side, a deep drive to express, shape, or make. To design something we believe in and, eventually, hopefully, share it with the people we love. And/or internet strangers. Both experiences are scary and beautiful in their own right!
But every so often, you sit down, like the faithful little creative bee that you are, and nothing—simply nothing—can be willed to flow from your brain. So your fingers freeze and your body chokes and, well, surely you can just say a quick prayer to fix it. Just breathe some quick life and fire down unto your faithful servant, Lord Jesus! You did it for Moses, so… HI!
Yeah, nothing.
So you get a snack.
Still frozen.
Healthier snack?
Girl, nope!
So you call your mom, and it is encouraging, but still not the fairy-godmother magic you were hoping would get your typically pretty cooperative fingers to just start MOVING already!
Brilliant idea:
Let’s go to Instagram!
Spoiler:
This is usually not a brilliant idea when you’re in this wondrous state.
Other people are killin’ it. You’re just killin’ the leftover Halloween candy stash.
Plus, those shiny, together other people don’t have funks. They don’t have lulls. They never grapple for words or inspiration or flowers!
Obviously, that is a lie, and people just don’t often TALK about how the sausage (blogs/books/photos/designs/fashions/dinners) are made, or where those flowers were picked. At least not the unpretty and most painful parts of the process, most of the time. We see the petals and blooms! Not the essential, uglier roots that can only begin underground, and we usually don’t notice the thorns. I also don’t think it’s necessarily because we artists are trying to hide; it’s simply more fun to share what’s pretty and finished.
But there’s a lot of pretty and finished out there.
So why not sit down to actually write about this recent (current?) *special experience* of mine and see what decides to come out, shall we?!
Another spoiler:
Enter this blog post!
Friends, call it a malfunction, call it writers’ block, call it being a human on earth. I don’t know exactly when my case of the 2019 Creative Funk started, but for the last several months, I have been in one serious lull. Usually when I’m ready to write, the words quickly pour from my veins. I fix my mind on a topic and sit down to set the sentences free. For real, there’s often a story or topic pressing from within my actual skin and I cannot relax until I make time to let it breathe.
But suddenly? Horrifically?
Nothing.
I started off feeling creatively blocked. Stuck. Going nowhere at a frightening speed.
But then it started seeping into my personal lens of the world and grew harder to see much of anything through my own noxious fog.
Parenting. Social plans. Meal planning.
Blah.
Why did I ever want to create anything ever in the first place of all that is holy!?
My general sense of malaise grew louder and stronger until I felt nearly paralyzed.
I certainly needed to start talking it out with someone, so I started with my current therapist named Doug Mack.
And I needed to revisit all the epic creative books I’ve ever read.
And I needed to find the bright side of Instagram and save/screenshot all the wisdom I could get my frozen fingers on.
And you know what, guys?
Slowly.
Surely.
Shockingly.
Begrudgingly.
I began to climb my way out of it—and certainly not alone (more on that in a second)! Maybe I wasn’t struck with any life-changing, Pulitzer-winning essay inspiration or revolutionary thoughts—or, fine, even blog post ideas—but I started to notice the beauty around me once more and feel pressed again toward the magic of expressing that beauty through language. I also wanted to throw Friendsgiving, shop for cute outfits and make my family spaghetti again. Thank you at last, Father God!
All of this was a miracle.
Today I feel so much better than I recently did. I am not all the way there. But I sure am getting closer.
So I wanted to share with you 10 things that have helped me slowly find my solid (whimsical) footing again.
In no particular order, every single one of these has in some way inspired my soul up and out of my lengthy creative funk:
1. Know You Are Not Alone, Sister!—Friend, you are so far from being alone in the battles along the way of an artistic life (any life). It’s a big part of why I wanted to write this post—because I always love hearing how other creative souls struggle and live and get over themselves. NOTE: We all struggle and live and constantly have to get over ourselves!!! So just know that we’re in this together. When you find the right people in life, and online, you’ll gather the unshakable, much-needed truths about WHAT GOES ON in that sausage factory. Note: Discouragement, self-doubt, frustration, sadness, imposter syndrome. Also: Magic, fulfillment, joy, peace, glimpses of actual heaven made from our hands. You’re not crazy or isolated in experiencing both in the very same day, or hour, or breath. I am right here high-fiving you!
2. Take the Pressure Off—My girlfriend and fellow creator encouraged me with this thought and I really cherish it. What about creating for YOU and GOD and not anyone else on the earth? What about writing a paragraph or designing a tablescape with no intention of ever sharing it with anyone else? How might this free your chains? More than I have in years, I have been write, write, writing various things that likely will never see daylight. I’m working through thoughts. I’m getting out angst. I’ve been letting it all be 50 shades of gray and imperfect in my quest to see color again. I wonder what our content-crazy, share-obsessed culture is doing to developing artists. I think we need to fight for the quiet—for the purity of our individual process. I’m also setting a timer for five minutes here and there, and just FREE WRITING! What a liberation it is. Take off that pressure and straighten your crown and sit up at that keyboard, GF.
3. Try New Art Forms—I first read about this in Elizabeth Gilbert’s masterpiece of a creative manifesto, Big Magic, and have heard it here and there since. If you’re feeling stuck in your go-to medium, give something new a try! For instance, if you’re a writer, maybe raid the $1 store and go nuts with the Halloween décor as a project with your sweet kids. Bake a fun cake. Get out the Play-Doh. I’m totally not even kidding. Write something new, like poetry! This has a fantastical way of shaking things loose. If your creative fairies feel trapped, consider giving them a new place to fly. See what this eventually does for your chief form of creation.
4. Talk it Out—Definitely read all the books you can get your hands on and listen to awesome podcasts and hear from the greats before you. But also? Phone a friend and get vulnerable. I can’t tell you the encouragement and release this has brought to me. If she’s the right kind of sister, she will hold up a mirror to illuminate the things you can’t see. She’ll shine a welcome flashlight into your own funk and mire. She will encourage you and she will bless you and she will remind you how far you’ve come and how far you still have to go, and oh, STEPH, I’m just so excited for you because I know the best is still yet to come!!! Tell me where you are at. Tell me what feels really hard. Tell me where you’re struggling to feel worthy and excited and whole. Talk it all out and I’ll never, ever judge you and I’ll never, ever stop cheering you on. Also, please just know that I don’t really care if you never create another thing in your life because I just love YOU—for you. We need our friends. We need our partners. We need our parents and brothers and sisters. Invite people into your mess. It’s forever the authentic way forward. Sometimes you just need a buddy to hold up the compass.
5. Read, Read, Read—When I was a full-time business writer, we had periodic conference calls with all of us passionate Word People within the company. One of the head communications executives gave us this piece of advice to not only keep our writing constantly fresh, but to try if we’re feeling stuck: Read any and every piece of good writing that you can get your little hands on. Vanity Fair articles. Novels. Great memoirs. I have been reading beautiful poetry by Mary Oliver and Rupi Kaur. The words and sentences will help get your juices flowing, if only subtly and invisibly. “Everything you read, you absorb,” she said. “Consume great sentences and great sentences in turn will come out of you.” Even if you’re another kind of artist, I think language is incredibly powerful in sparking our deepest magic.
6. Get in Nature—OK! Maybe it’s time to just stop thinking so hard about being creative for one half a second and get out into some awe-inspiring natural splendor. Get to the ocean. Go on a hike. Breathe in some mountain air or take a stroll through your neighborhood. Think about nothing or anything other than forcing your creativity. Let God show off for a while. I always return to my kids AND my keyboard feeling renewed after inhaling outdoor inspiration.
7. Take Some Notes—My iPhone notes are overflowing (seriously, it’s scary) with notes and paragraphs on the outside world. At Chick-Fil-A with your kids? Well, make sure they’re safe and do not neglect them, but tap out some observations. Watch how they play. Write it down. Look at that family over there. Imagine their story. Feel the kindness of every employee, especially the special needs employee named Cinderella (she is our favorite, and that’s her real name). Put into words what you see and feel. This is an awesome exercise condoned by many accomplished writers. Probably painters and musicians, too. Bonus Tip: Bring a journal and pen to switch things up! There’s something different about manually writing your words, the pace and the tangible act. It just might spark something you never expected.
8. Think About God—One of the best pieces of advice I gathered in graduate school came from a famous novelist, Janet Fitch, author of White Oleander and a number of other novels. She told us that when you sit down to write a scene, if you can have your character think about dinner, or think about God, always have them think about God. When I’m feeling stuck, sometimes I’ll just sit down, remember this tidbit, clear my head, and simply think about God. Meditate, pray, ask for help. I’ll write down whatever comes to my mind. I mean, we have the actual Creator of the UNIVERSE right at our fingertips! THAT is pretty miraculous. I know He wants to speak through our art. In fact, I think it’s one of the most powerful, actual ways He reveals Himself here on earth. Turns out this tip to just ponder Him works for my own writing as well as fiction (which I hope to write someday)!
9. Look Through Your Past Work—Take a peek at your backlog. Those Word docs and folders and journals or canvases or photographs possibly littering your computer or personal space. Is there anything you started and never finished that might spark a fresh idea? An old piece or project you could revisit? Or maybe there’s something you made that you’re truly proud of. What about pausing to honor the work you have made? I’ve been revisiting a number of old posts and articles and felt both encouraged by the fact that somewhere in here I know how to write—and also that there are topics I’d like to revisit. The You from the past can be a New Teacher and I think that’s pretty cool.
10. Remember the Precious Season You’re In—“There is a time during one’s life when, if you are responsible for the care of your kids, it is very hard to do other creative work. You have to do it around the edges.” – Ursula K. Le Guin // I shared this quote in my Instagram Stories recently and it bears repeating, over and over again. Sometimes I need a big fat dose of encouragement and reminding that I still have three young children, and while I do still have my pinky in the door with my freelance writing work, and I passionately love to blog and create—I have also chosen to stay home with my girls during this season and give them the first fruits of my mind, body and energy. One day, my season will change. For now, if I feel exhausted at the end of the day? If I’m struggling for a few months to feel deeply profound and keenly observant always and just can’t seem to keep up with the rapid-fire content of others? Well, shoot. First, you better stop comparing right now because that is the very fastest route to self-doubt and agony! There is only one YOU who can shine at your place and your pace in your race! Secondly, I keep my family afloat. I keep my children not only alive, but (mostly) bright-eyed and happy! This is no small creative feat. May we never forget that whatever brilliance God has bestowed upon you—which I know for a fact He has!—you are pouring that into your kids, whether you’re working or at home or a combination. Remember this. Remember you. Find the edges that bring your passions to life. But above all, be gentle with you in this season. Give yourself a beautiful break.
Do you know why I’m thankful for this funk? Because every season of highly uncomfortable feelings is an invitation. To either bat away the annoying emotions, which is to say, stuff them down and wait for them to leak out sideways like flammable gasoline—or to look them in the eye and say, “What do you want from me, Doubt? What can you teach me, Frustration? You cannot stay forever, but I want to know why you came in the first place, Mrs. I’m Feeling Stuck.”
This time has prompted me to ask some tough questions, discuss them with the people who love me, and pause to hold the true answers.
What exactly is going on my life? Are there any external or internal reasons it might actually make sense for me to be feeling a bit out of sorts?
As per usual when I probe inward, I found something.
With this funk has come more pockets of silence, deep introspection and creative unrest, for sure—but also an expansion into the Great Unknown of what could possibly be next for me and our family.
I’m processing through a lot as 2019 folds into a close and I reflect on my word for the year:
Courage.
I can’t wait to share more in my next essay, my last of the year.
Thank you guys so much for reading, and Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!
I love you all. I believe in you.
And look at that!
I finally wrote something fairly long and incredibly close to my heart.
Even from here.
Maybe especially from here.
