The dull ache of fear in my chest clashed starkly with the sparkling ocean sprawled far below and for miles from where our family of four strolled the cliffs of Corona del Mar. I’d walked these cliffs many times. I’d walk them many to come. But this day, I hardly felt present. I felt antsy and angsty and off. My foggy mind’s eye still blinked like crazy, unfocused, from my shock only hours before. A mere ... View Post
My 25 Post-Baby Weight Loss Tips :: Part 2
It’s officially been a month since I bid good-bye to all my post-baby weight, and I’m so happy to offer you a fresh round of tips! Before I do, though—how about a little update? Several times in recent weeks, friends have asked me the same question I’ve also asked myself: “You lost all the weight. What now?!” While I know for certain that some people stick with Weight Watchers for a whole lifetime—no, ... View Post
My 25 Post-Baby Weight Loss Tips :: Part 1
I didn’t know if my body could do it, and I was completely OK with it. In a genuine exhale of peace and release, just last week, I accepted that my 33-year-old frame most likely didn’t want to lose the entire 62 pounds I gained in my third pregnancy. I hit my longest plateau, seemingly unable to shake the last few. My body had settled back into my usual size, though, and my favorite pants—and most importantly I felt ... View Post
Homebody
And then one day, all alone in your closet, your favorite jeans button up again. The zipper doesn’t catch, but your throat does. You were just trying them on, to see “how far you still had to go.” But then you remember: the realest you? She’s been right here all along. Growing, while technically reducing in size. Stronger than denim, bigger than tags: infinite as the sunrise. Maybe they ... View Post
To Taking Our Bodies Forward
You’d think maybe I’d have trusted the history of a clear pattern repeating itself. But, no. I started every single one of my pregnancies with the same sparkly gusto regarding my weight. The first time: “I mean, of course I’ll be the queen of prenatal yoga and look so adorably like I swallowed a beach ball!!!” The second: “Well, last time got a little off the rails, but THIS time, guys. I will definitely gain not ... View Post
Rainbows and Remembrance
Every October 15 for the rest of my days, I will light two candles to shine on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. And when my girls are a few years older, I will talk to them about their two little angel siblings who never quite made it to earth. My mom had four miscarriages, and while not talked about all the time, it was always a mystical fact intertwined in our family dynamic. There were four of us here ... View Post